Warning: this post is less than uplifting.
The funk that I’ve fallen into decided to slam on top of me like a ton of bricks yesterday. And it’s the “I’m not sure I have the physical energy to even get through this day” type of funk. And honestly, I just don’t give a hoot about much right now. Woo.
My day started at 4am when my alarm went off for a scheduled workout. A workout is something I rarely miss unless I’m just completely and utterly bogged down. I did my typical pre-workout assessment: “How do I feel? Am I tired? Am I sore? Do I feel any pain from previous injuries? Do I have a workout plan?” Well, I felt fine, not really tired, minimal pain, kind of had a workout plan (not one I was excited about obviously), but my quads/hamstrings/glutes were still pretty sore from that Monday workout. Although my true excuse for missing the workout was from pure mental/emotional exhaustion, I used my soreness as the scapegoat. Probably a good decision in the long-run. BUT that means that tomorrow and Friday will be required workout days…and there’s nothing more I hate than working out on Friday. As if the previous 4-5 days of the week haven’t left me drained enough, the last thing I want to do on Thursday night (so close to the finish line) is think about how early I have to get up on Friday to workout. Fridays are meant to be glorious. Rough life, I know.
So there you have it. For the past 2 months my weekends have been consumed with work or back-to-back events causing me to question when I’ll even have time to sit down. Yeah, yeah, yeah…boo hoo, right? On top of the busy weekends comes the Lease Flee of 2011 and all the gloriousness of moving. Not to mention my guilt-complex-ridden brain that’s always thinking (Have I called my parents enough today? Have I given enough recognition to everyone? Have I been too selfish? Have I told the people I care about how grateful I am for everything they’ve done? Have I called my mom yet to apologize for snapping at her? Wait…have I snapped recently? When am I going to find time this week to buy an anniversary gift for my parents? I wonder where that cricket is that escaped my “foot of death” this morning…Etc.). Add all that to my constant thought that “I don’t even have kids to worry about…how in the world will I ever handle that on top of everything else that causes my blood pressure to go up?” Good grief, it never ends. So all that leads a “highly-sensitive”, ISFJ (or INFJ depending on the day) of a gal pretty emotionally drained. Let’s not even talk about my work frustrations. As much as I love this job, I experience equal amounts of frustrations – as with most people with most jobs. Yeah, I know. “You and the rest of the world”.
Ok, pity party is officially over.
Happiness: Upgrading my satellite package to finally get the channels I always see showing things I want to watch for $5 more each month. Not sure why my cheap-self didn’t do that in the first place. Oh well… TV is pretty great.
Awkwardness for the day: One of the (extremely talkative) secretary’s sons came in to visit this morning. You know when you’ve stalked someone on Facebook that you aren’t friends with, but when people start talking about said person or you finally meet said person you feel so hindered to talk about what you actually know about that person, because you aren’t supposed to know those things about that person? Yeah…it was like that. Except I didn’t Facebook creep…his mom just reveals more than he cares her to. I’m sure I had an awfully awkward look on my face. Need to work on controlling my facial expressions…